Hi Happysunshine,
This is my first ever entry on this site but your entry struck a cord. I can totally relate to not having a community or feel like I like I have a proper history because half my family where in the witnessess and half out. We moved home, I was told its better to not associate with 'worldly people' or the other half of my immediate family who were not witnesses. At age 18 I decided to leave but this was a very hard decision because I felt completely alone. I had no friends really and found it hard to adust. Anyway I but on't go on too much but the following years had its ups and downs but I always felt deep down that I just didn't belong. I felt my mother (who is a witness and who I wanted to get close to for years) had no time for me and yet spent all her time with strangers who are some way connected to the witnesses. It hurt so much that she didn't seem to care about me I do believe that my mother joined the witnesses as an outlet because she was bored and unhappy and it was a way of life she could lose herself in. In some ways though I think she lost signt of what is important and that is family.
Sorry for babbling on happysunshine but one thing I would like to say that you should be thankful for what you have. I don't imply that like you don't because I am sure that you adore your wife and children but don't loose sight of the blessings you have in your life. I know it must be difficult in a different culture with different languages but their are lots of positives too. Sometimes its hard to see them. I need to take my own advise because I tend to look to more the negative than positive.